


Say You'll Stay

by estei



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:43:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5522453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estei/pseuds/estei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck has been trying, so hard, but he's still surprised to learn someone has noticed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say You'll Stay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Raine_Wynd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raine_Wynd/gifts).



> Written for the pacrim holiday swap! 
> 
> For Raine Wynd, who asked for a fic that included the following prompt words: chocolate, candles, and car problems. Two out of three? :)

When it all went wrong, it was so spectacular that Chuck might have appreciated the sheer entertainment value if he hadn’t caught sight of his father. The lack of surprise on Herc’s face, the “oh here we go” raise of his eyebrows, was galling, but more than that, it _hurt_. Chuck had been making a real effort all evening, smiling and shaking hands and curbing his tongue and of course the old man would show up just in time to catch his first, but admittedly considerable, gaffe of the night.

In truth, Chuck had been making an effort for months. Surviving Pitfall, defeating the kaiju, most days Chuck still couldn’t believe any of it was real, despite the grueling weeks of physical therapy it took to get him back on his feet. No one was surprised by his doggedness on the PT mats, the way he sweated and shook through every damnable exercise, but he knew that his equal determination in his counseling sessions took many aback. He was the first to schedule his sessions, and one of the few to continue after the mandated period had passed. Still, it was hard, in ways Chuck could never have anticipated, and sometimes he came out of the sessions feeling flayed to the bone, but he could see and feel the changes, small that they might be.

Without a war there was no room for the Ranger Chuck had been, he’d seen that even before Pitfall, and now that he had a second chance, well. Chuck Hansen had excelled at being a pilot, and he would damned well excel at whatever he chose to be now. Figuring out what he wanted to be, that part was a bit trickier. He’d decided to start small, working on his relationship with Herc, and on being helpful as the PPDC navigated the post-kaiju waters. As to the latter, he found a comfortable place with the scientists and technicians, who welcomed his intensity and quick mind. He wasn’t often called on for the publicity side of things, that part was mostly left to the dynamic duo, which suited him just fine. Everyone knew that dealing with the media wasn’t exactly in his wheelhouse.

  
But some things could not be avoided, and the celebratory gala hosted by the UN in Washington was one such event. Chuck had steered well clear of all the politics, but with Herc as the new head of the PPDC it wasn’t hard to figure out that things were tense across the board and having the public’s support was paramount to maintaining the independence they’d carved out. So Chuck had paid attention in the media training and submitted to the coaching on appropriate conversation topics, and even accepted their directions on what to wear, right down to the patterned socks.

But all night he’d felt like an imposter, like a child playing dress up in his father’s suit jacket, and now, faced with an irate French woman who seemed to be wearing an entire fox, with red wine dripping off his shiny oxford shoes, he wondered if he hadn’t been kidding himself these past few months. Maybe there wasn’t another, better Chuck Hansen waiting to be coaxed out, maybe there was just the guy who’d been good at killing monsters but remained a perpetual disappointment to everyone around him. He tried to swallow, tried to say something, anything to diffuse the situation, but his throat was suddenly impossibly tight, and-

“Why, madame, I have been waiting all evening to talk to you,” Raleigh appeared at Chuck’s elbow, inserting himself between the two before Chuck could blink. “Chuck, you don’t mind if I borrow this lovely lady, do you?”

The woman in question was already preening under the attention, her shoulders unfurling until her fox pelt was in danger of falling to the floor.

“Not at all,” Chuck managed to croak, “Madame, thank you for your time this evening.” He figured he couldn’t go too wrong by copying Raleigh’s form of address, inclined his head slightly, and the woman nodded back to him. He shifted on his feet, the dismissal was clear, but he wasn’t sure how to detach himself without making the scene more obvious.

“Oh, your drink, shall we see about getting you a fresh glass?” Raleigh offered his arm to the woman, who laughed and slipped her hand primly into the curve of his elbow and the two swept away to the long banquettes on the opposite side of the ballroom. Chuck watched them go, admiring the ease to Raleigh’s movements, and seized the opportunity to try and calm his heart rate before the old man no doubt laid into him.

“I hope she did not ruin your suit.”

So much for lowering the heart rate. Distracted, Chuck hadn’t noticed Mako approach and he was still unsettled enough that even her soft tone startled him. Her concern was unwarranted, though. Chuck had already confirmed that the suit pants had escaped the wine spill, not that it would be a terrible loss anyway. He wasn’t Raleigh, who looked perfectly dapper in his artfully mismatched suit.

  
“Ah Christ, when we can we get outta here anyway?” Chuck groused. Mako’s arrival seemed to have halted his father’s journey over, so that was a bonus, but he wasn’t exactly eager to engage with anyone. It’d probably be best for all concerned if he just made his apologies and beat it back to the hotel before he could offend anyone else.

Mako smiled, glanced around to make sure no one was lingering too closely, and tipped her chin. “Soon, I hope. This is all very…” She paused, and her smile turned into something more genuine, with a hint of a smirk at the corners, “Taxing. All of this bullshit.”

Chuck had no hope of suppressing a bark of laughter, stunned and delighted as he was by Mako’s astute, if uncharacteristic, assessment. Then again, he ruminated as he watched her start to laugh along with him, Mako had been changing, too, since the first moment she stepped into Gipsy’s conn-pod.

“Too right, Mako,” he chortled. “I suppose you’ve had your fill of all this by now, anyway. All the media circuits you and Becket have been on.”

“Yes. Raleigh calls it the dog and pony show.” Mako nodded, and when Chuck looked askance, she wrinkled her nose. “He assures me this is a common saying.”

“Must be an American thing,” Chuck said gamely, though he couldn’t imagine… in this scenario was Mako the pony and Raleigh the dog?

“Why don’t you ask him?” Mako said, and Chuck noticed Raleigh crossing the room toward them. He still had the same genial, almost smile on his face, but his eyes didn’t fool Chuck.

“Oh my god, when can we go?”

Unlike Mako, Raleigh didn’t bother with a perimeter check before uttering his complaints, and a gentleman in a tuxedo shot them all an aggrieved look. Raleigh did something complicated with his face, all downturned mouth and furrowed brows and the ridiculous expression seemed to appease the man, who turned his attention back to his companions.

“Perhaps you should go back to the hotel,” Mako suggested archly, and Raleigh’s expression grew poutier still. They seemed to be conversing with the angle of their eyebrows alone, which was not entirely unusual for co-pilots. Still, it only increased the feeling that Chuck did not belong, and he shifted awkwardly.

“Don’t think the old man would appreciate you skipping out on the fun,” he offered, watching as the man in question strode toward them.

“Naw, he more than did his duty tonight, steppin’ in like he did with that old bag,” Herc grumbled, and Chuck felt his shoulders curl in, bracing for the censure that was certain to follow.

“Marshall!” Mako gasped, but the crowd had ebbed away from them and no one was truly paying them any attention. Raleigh chuckled and ducked his head.

“Ah, well, you looked like you were about to strangle her with her fur stole,” he said.

“Damn near thing it was,” Herc nodded, then clapped Chuck on the shoulder. “Did real good there, Chuck. Don’t know that I coulda kept my temper, myself.”

“Faced worse than her, haven’t I,” Chuck offered gamely, and was gratified when Herc burst into laughter.

“I reckon so,” he nodded. “All the same, Miss Mori and I can take it from here. Why don’t you boys head back? I’ll let the team know to call the car.”

Obviously he’d misread his father’s earlier ire, which hadn’t been aimed at him at all. Which was great, but also served as a reminder at how terrible they were at communicating outside the drift, and begged the question of how many of their arguments had erupted over small misunderstandings? A fair few, Chuck mused.

“Sounds like a good deal to me,” Chuck said. “Whaddya think, Becket? Ready to get out of here?”

Raleigh seemed surprised to be included in Chuck’s escape plans, and his expression was more considering as he turned to meet Chuck’s gaze.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I am.” His tone was quiet and almost intense, and Chuck felt an almost shiver travel down his spine under the attention. The spell was broken when Herc’s hand thumped down on Chuck’s shoulder again, this time lingering.

“You did good tonight, mate,” Herc said, giving his shoulder one last squeeze before stepping away again. “Now get outta here before someone else decides they need to have a chat with ya.”  
Raleigh was already bouncing on his heels next to him, obviously eager to make his retreat. They didn’t quite make it to the ballroom doors before two members of the security detail appeared at their sides. Like all the security specialists attached to the “heroes of the breach” for public events, the man and woman were no-nonsense, but friendly enough. Chuck was a little surprised that Raleigh didn’t engage them in chit-chat, as he was wont to do with all the staff, but tonight the bloke seemed a bit off, a little more contained.

As their little procession made their way through the hallway, footsteps hushed on the plush carpet, more aides appeared with their coats, and without discussion both he and Raleigh shrugged into them awkwardly without breaking stride. The revolving doors at the entrance beckoned, and beyond that the glittering lights wrapped around the winter-stripped trees.

“Oh,” Raleigh murmured as they passed through the last doors, “It’s snowing.”

Chuck recoiled at the cold bite of the air, drawing the lapels of his wool coat around his throat, and had far less appreciation for the fluffy snowflakes that were quickly blanketing everything in sight. Raleigh, of course, seemed totally unaffected and tipped his head back, snowflakes already dotting the length of his eyelashes and glistening like a crown on his blond head. Chuck immediately swallowed his complaints about the cold, almost bowled over by how much Raleigh’s rapt gaze had struck him. He was barely aware of the quiet argument happening behind him, until the woman who’d been escorting them stepped up to hover just beside Chuck’s elbow, not quite touching.

“Sir, there’s a problem with the car. You’ll have to wait for another one, perhaps we should step back inside?” She darted her eyes to Raleigh, who clearly had no interest in the comfort of the heated lobby.

“Naw,” Chuck said lightly, and Raleigh turned a dimpled grin toward him. “We’re fine right here.”

Chuck could see the tension draining from the man next to him with every breath of cold air he took, tension he hadn’t seen until now. He waited for the security staff to retreat to their usual discrete distance, and nudged Raleigh’s arm gently.

“Alright?” he said.

“Yeah, just,” Raleigh shrugged, and Chuck got it. How impossible it was to find words to try and explain the weight that you carried, from all the hurts and losses they had endured, how small things could suddenly upend you, with no explanation or warning. Sometimes the only comfort was in the people who knew your pain without needing words, and so Chuck shuffled a little bit closer, cautious of the wet snow in his impractical dress shoes, and quietly tipped his own head up to the sky. He could feel Raleigh’s eyes on him, but he resolutely looked upward.

He was almost disappointed when the car arrived.

Still, he shivered as he clambered into the warmth of the back seat, Raleigh close behind. The ride was short, and quiet, and Chuck was internally fumbling for an excuse to delay the moment when they would part to their separate rooms, but he was wholly unprepared for Raleigh to offer one first.

“A hot chocolate will fix you right up,” Raleigh said abruptly as they stepped off the elevator.

“What now?” Chuck said, and almost stumbled when Raleigh blushed.

“I know you’re not a fan of the cold, I thought maybe a hot drink…” he shrugged.

“And I suppose you have hot chocolate in your room?” Chuck arched a brow, he was aiming for a playful tone, but he knew he didn’t always gauge that well. Raleigh seemed to light up, so it had worked this time.

“I do,” he nodded. “A good Alaskan never travels without proper supplies.”

“Or, a chocolate fiend never goes without his fix,” Chuck countered. Raleigh fumbled the key card to his door and he laughed, quiet and rueful.

“I didn’t think you’d noticed,” he admitted.

“Not the worst habit to have,” Chuck allowed, not wanting to confess that he had started to notice a fair few things about his fellow ranger over the past months. “I’m sure it was scarce on the… well, before.” He ground to a halt, seemed poor form to bring up the wall when they were getting along so well. “Er, rations, and the like,” he shrugged, but Raleigh didn’t seem put out, to his relief.

“Yeah,” Raleigh slipped out of his wool overcoat, dropping it on the end of the bed and gesturing for Chuck to do the same. “So now I splurge a little.” He gestured to the closet. “Hang up your suit jacket if you like, I know I’m getting out of mine.” True to his word, by the time Chuck stepped back from the closet Raleigh’s suit jacket and tie were nary to be seen, and his sleeves had been rolled up the elbows. An electric kettle was already humming on the desk, and Chuck took a seat in one of the two armchairs arranged by the window.

“Not a bad place to kip out,” he remarked as he surveyed the room, all plush pillows and muted lighting. Raleigh, who’d been rustling around with some mugs, tensed.

“I suppose,” he said after a long pause.

“Yeah, I hear ya. I don’t know what to do with all this shite, either. Spent most of my life in one ‘dome or the other, keep thinkin’ I’m gonna get engine grease on something.” Chuck figured that for Raleigh, the transition to this kind of opulence was even more jarring. He didn’t know much about accommodations for workers on the wall, but he had to think the Shatterdome quarters had been a step up for the poor bloke, and wasn’t that a sad thought.

“The first month they had us out here, I slept on the floor. The bed was so big, I felt like I was about to smother in the blankets.” Raleigh didn’t look up from whatever chocolate alchemy he was engaged in, a battered tin having appeared next to the kettle.

“Getting used to it now?” Chuck hated the thought of Raleigh sleeping on the floor, and was surprised that Mako would allow it. He was struck suddenly by the thought that maybe Mako didn’t know, and suddenly the picture of a figure huddled on the carpet seemed that much lonelier.

“Well, the bed still feels too big, but I don’t sleep on the floor anymore,” Raleigh smiled a little, and shrugged. “It’s a work in progress.”

“Mate, we’re all a work in progress,” Chuck said, and maybe his tone was a bit more vehement than he intended, but Raleigh’s grin widened until his blue eyes were damned near sparkling.

“Well, here’s to our progress.” Raleigh said, and he shuffled over with a steaming mug in each hand. Chuck accepted his carefully, and let the aroma and warmth curl around his face.

“Smells amazing,” he said, and damned in that little blush didn’t come back to Raleigh’s cheeks.

“My own blend,” he admitted. “I hope you like it.”

Chuck took a sip, careful of the heat, and damn near moaned. “Argh, curse you Becket, I’ll never be satisfied with any other hot beverage as long as I live.”

Raleigh ducked his head and took a sip from his own mug. “I can usually be persuaded to share.”

“Suppose I’ll have to keep you around, then,” Chuck pronounced, and then stopped, suddenly aware of how suggestive that sounded, even in jest. He felt his own face heat, though he couldn’t deny he did want that. Having Raleigh around, it made things better, and even the media circus didn’t seem so bad when he was there to share the jokes, or the tense moments.

“Well, it’s not exactly like I have a plan, after this.” Raleigh stared down into his mug, and Chuck sensed that they were both uncomfortable now. “Once all this media stuff dies down, the political meetings, I don’t know. Seems like there won’t be much for me to do. And already, Mako handles most of the heavy lifting when it comes to the meetings, I have to be there, sure, but I don’t think I contribute much.”

“It’s important,” Chuck said quickly, “What you two are doing, it’s important.” Herc talked about it all the time, and a lot of the scientists and techs did, too. Getting Mako and Raleigh into the public sphere, and the way they handled themselves once they were out there, that had been vital in getting the ink dry on several important contracts and commitments that would benefit every member of the PPDC for years to come. The pilot pensions, the survivor’s benefits, protecting the intellectual rights and discoveries and setting up new research divisions… none of that would have been possible without the public support that had come from Mako and Raleigh’s efforts. He hadn’t realized how cut off they’d been from that, how isolated as they were shuttled from city to city, across countries and continents, separated from the people they were protecting.

“Mate,” Chuck paused, because it was important that he get this right, “Without you out here the UN would have rolled right over us after that first week. We’d have been dismantled and farmed out however they wanted, and god knows the mess they’d make of things a second time around. Tonight, all of us shined up and playing nice, that was our choice, they’ve got nothing on us now, and that’s thanks to you and Mako.”

He let Raleigh chew on that, and they finished their hot chocolates in a silence that more contemplative than morose.

“As to the future, well, now you have one. We all do. Don’t fret so much about what it might be, you have time to figure it out.” Chuck shrugged, because he asked himself the same questions, and hadn’t come up with any magic answers.

“You sound like a motivational greeting card,” Raleigh teased, stretching out to nudge Chuck’s foot with his own.

“Oi, first off, I am sharing my hard won wisdom with you,” Chuck shook his index finger in Raleigh’s direction, “And secondly, these shoes have been through enough tonight, yeah? Don’t need you scuffing them up, too.” But despite his words, he didn’t move his foot away, and he was aware of the lightest contact between their ankles. After a moment, he nudged the bloke back, increasing the touch. “Though you did earn some goodwill with that hot chocolate, so I suppose it all evens out.”

“Appreciate it,” Raleigh said, and his eyes darted quickly to the clock on the bedside table. “Oh, I didn’t realize how late it is. God, you must be exhausted, you guys just flew in this morning-“

“Ah, slept on the plane. And the time difference, blegh, it’ll be days before I get that sorted out.” Chuck hesitated, and, hell, he’d said it earlier, hadn’t he? He’d faced worse things… “If you’re tired, I can shove off, but maybe we can watch a movie or something? Still kinda wound up from everything.”

“Yeah,” Raleigh said quietly, his gaze fixed on Chuck’s, “I’d like that.”

“Ace,” Chuck clapped his hands together, and leaned forward. “Don’t supposed you’ve got an extra pair of trackies around? These trousers are not exactly lounge wear.”

Of course he could go back to his own room, where his bags were still sitting on the pristine bedspread, but it felt like leaving would break whatever spell had made this encounter so comfortable, and warm. Raleigh seemed to get it, because he didn’t question Chuck’s inability to make it four doors down the hall. Which is how Chuck found himself wearing a pair of freshly laundered sweat pants and stripped down to his undershirt, seated against the headboard with Raleigh at his shoulder, the duvet pulled up to their laps, and engaged in a semi-serious argument about the depiction of Khan in the original Star Trek II versus the later Star Trek: Into Darkness, even though they both seemed to agree that Star Trek II was better.

True to his word, Chuck was still wide awake, but Raleigh’s arguments were getting fuzzier and he was noticeably listing to the side. Hansen’s were not exactly known for their subtlety, but between Raleigh’s diminished focus and Chuck’s patience, it didn’t have require much shuffling until Raleigh ended up slumped down against Chuck’s shoulder.

“Yer wrong,” Raleigh said blearily, and Chuck looked down at him, at the way his lips were curved in the hint of smile, his lashes brushing against his cheek with every slow blink, and realized that he wanted a future that had this stubborn goof in it.

“Go to sleep, ya drongo,” Chuck murmured, shifting his arm to provide better support around Raleigh’s shoulders. “We’ll fight it out proper over brekkie.”

“Mmm. You’ll stay?” Raleigh didn’t bother opening his eyes, just nuzzled closer, and Chuck shivered as his breath ghosted across his collarbone. He desperately wanted to reach up and cup that face, sink his fingers into soft-looking, disheveled blond hair, but he didn’t want to presume, not when Raleigh was barely conscious, draped against him and already closer than they might be ready for. But he held the other man tight, as chaste as such a touch could be, and figured that once he’d talked Raleigh into seeing his way about sci-fi films, he might just be able to talk him round to this, too.

“I’ll stay,” he promised.


End file.
